Monday, 1 April 2013

Crying is not weakness

Few weeks back me and one of my friends, as it won't be fair to disclose her name, lets call her Mary,  were  chatting on phone. She was having hard time with her boss at work. She felt offended by the way her boss was treating her and decided to resign. Before leaving the job she wanted to communicate with her boss about what made her feel bad and the reason she had to take this step in-spite of having no other job as back up. While we were talking it came up that, even though she was so desperate about speaking with her boss there was something that was very strongly holding her back. After listening and talking for a while we found out the culprit - the belief that "Crying is a sign of weakness and helplessness" - and she was afraid that she would begin to cry in front of her boss and look like a helpless victim.

Let me tell you, a belief is neither right not wrong it is only either helpful or unhelpful / limiting. If it is helpful keep it. If it is unhelpful dispose it and replace it with a helpful belief.

It is funny how we humans tend to judge everything and classify it as right or wrong, good or bad and then on the basis of that judge ourselves. It is painful when doing something feels liberating but our beliefs don't allow us to do that. And then we choose to suffocate rather than find the belief and then question it. If there is anything truly powerful next to being aware, it the power of questioning. Questioning your beliefs. Questioning the reason behind doing the things that does not make you feel good and yet you continue doing. Trust me! Questioning is really very powerful and life transforming!

Coming back to Mary, at the end of our conversation + a little bit of coaching she realised that - crying is not weakness, it is just a form of expression. We cry when words are not enough for expressing the depth of what we are feeling at the moment. And when you express completely without bothering about being judged, you are doing an act of great strength and self love.

If you are interested in knowing more about benefits of crying click here. No! I am not trying say here that crying is a virtue. I am just saying that it is just a form of expression - neither good nor bad.

I feel grateful about this conversation with my friend because it always reminds me about completely and without any hesitation expressing yourself. Thank you Mary!

Would love to know your thoughts and stories about your struggles and victories with self-expression.