Healing Hurt and Creating Love

In everybody's life there are some people with whom we share significant amount of time everyday and also a common space. We call these people family members. They have a great impact on how happy we are with our life. We depend on them for their love, care and understanding. But, when relationship with these very people becomes abusive and hurtful we start feeling trapped. We feel that there is no way out and start blaming each other for the way we feel.
But the good news is just like every other problem on this earth, this problem also has a solution. Solution is "LOVE & FORGIVENESS". Yes same age old mantra of love and forgiveness comes to our rescue.
Here are the steps to heal your hurt and create love in any relationship.

1. Take responsibility. Throw away your victim mentality. Stop feeling like a victim of the situation. Understand that every thing is impermanent and very changing. Know that you are the architect of your life and unwanted things will change if you take complete responsibility of whatever is happening in your life. This is step 1 of solution to any and every problem that exists and will ever exist.
2. Make a list of feelings that you feel when you see that person or think about that person on a sheet of paper.
3. Sit in a quiet and comfortable place and tell yourself that this particular situation, just like every thing in this universe,is ever changing. Affirm aloud "  My outside world is just a reflection of who I am. I am open to change and as I change things around me change as well."
4. Understand that any healing takes place only with love and forgiveness. Now perform a small ritual. Burn the list that you had prepared in step two with an intention that you are letting go all these feelings and see your feeling of hurt burned into ashes and now you are left with a heart willing to forgive.
5. Sit with your back straight and take few deep breaths and prepared your mind for next step of healing. Now affirm aloud "Forgiveness and love is the only solution to every problem in this world. I choose to forgive 'the person's name'  as well as myself. I forgive ... I forgive....and bless myself and 'the person's name' with love, happiness and health ( Visualize both, yourself and the person, to be happy and feel the happiness and love within yourself) As I do this, I set myself free from all hurt and past experiences. Only love and forgiveness is left behind.I create new and beautiful experiences for myself. I choose to see only positive in myself and 'the person's name' and as I do this I am giving birth to a beautiful relation between two of us."
6. Repeat step five for at least few weeks and continue for a longer time if you feel the need , you will actually see your relationship improving. 
7. Whenever any negative thoughts appear about that person, just remind yourself that you have decided to see only positive in that person and bless that person with love an happiness. Blessing dissolves any feeling of hatred.  

Any time you come across a person who tries to hurt you, just remember these words by Thich Nhat Hanh "When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”  Forgive and bless the person, it will surely heal the person but first it will heal you.

Choose to see only POSITIVE !!

I am sure each one of us wants to live a happy life, full of happy situations and wonderful people acknowledging and appreciating your wonderfulness, and at the same time you enjoying all aspects - personal, professional, financial, health, etc- of your life to the fullest.

Is it possible to live such wonderful life? Is it possible to have it all? Yes, it is and i'll tell you how.

Make a choice. Choose to see ONLY positive. Yes, this is the key to living a life of your dreams ( I am assuming that you dream of a happy life :) ;) ). 

Everyday perform a small ritual. Follow these steps:

1.     Choose a quite and comfortable place for yourself. You can go for a quite corner of your home or to your balcony, garden or any other place that is comfortable and peaceful.

2.     Sit with you back straight ( this ensures proper flow of energy in your body)

3.     Close your eyes

4.     Observe your natural breath for a minute or two, till to start feeling relaxed and completely present in the moment.

5.     Take 5 deep breaths

6.     With calm  and peaceful mind start thanking God or Universe or Nature or Your Higher Self, depending on whatever feels comfortable to you and aligns with your belief system, for all good and positive aspects of the following:

1)       Personal Life

2)       Professional Life

3)       Abundance

4)       Health

5)       City, locality and home

6)       A particular situation that does not feel so good

7)       People around you - colleagues, family members, friends ...... thank for all good things they have done and still do for you .... feel good about them by remembering all good qualities they posses

8)       Your life partner

9)       Yourself ..... take your own time and remind yourself about all the wonderful qualities you have ... and feel love for yourself while you do this.

Thank for smallest of blessings and feel gratitude within yourself. Feel how important this blessing is in your life. Count all the positive traits of people around you and also include yourself.

7.     Now affirm,

“I choose to see ONLY positive in all situations and aspects of my life”

“I always choose to see good in everyone including myself”

“I see myself and others with love”

This ritual will soon train your brain to see only positive and you will see your life flooded with positive situations and people. After all, like attracts like. 

My idea of perfect 2012

Just like 2011, I foresee 2012 to be a very happening year for me.
2011 was the year when I got married, ended my corporate career and decided to do something different, found my passion in life, took a decision to join Martha Beck's life coaching, spent time understanding myself better, spent a lot of time with my loved ones and above all felt lucky about having wonderful life partner and family which truly loves and supports me.
And now, I already have lots of hopes and expectations from 2012. I see myself becoming a well paid life coach, and trust me only I know how much I am already excited about this. There is lot of travel coming my way - Goa, Australia and might be US as well. Doesn't that sound wonderful......getting to see new places....new culture....different food...nature...and lots n lots of shopping. WOW! I am also looking forward to renting a house with a beautiful garden .... Flowers are after all  my first love! Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...........these were all big big things. But, now there are many simple and small things that I plan to do every single day of 2012. These small things that are going to make my each day perfect are...

• cooking meals at home ( this will ensure that we both - me and my husband, are eating healthy and nutritious food)
• practicing yoga daily for 1 hour
• reading out affirmation to myself
• practicing meditation for an hour daily ( I know many of your might be thinking that 1 hr is too much much, but actually i am used to meditation for this long. Its just that I am not very disciplined and miss out on my meditation because of my laziness)
• practicing gratitude daily before starting my day & before going to bed
• spending 15 - 30 mins each day organizing a small part of my house

So..I look forward to a year of health, spiritual growth, gratitude and organised and clutter free space to live in.

I wish all my readers a very happy and prosperous new year.

Please share your idea of perfect 2012 and your plans to achieve it.

11 things you should do if you love your body and yourself

1. Sit  cross-legged  while eating - This is the way people in east, traditionally, used to sit while eating food. This is the best position to adopt while eating as it enables stomach to absorb and digest food properly.
2. Eat with your hands and be completely aware while eating  - Mindfulness or awareness is the only way to fully experience a moment and responses of your body in that moment. Eating is considered to be an experience involving senses. One should eat his meal in a quiet, airy and clean place where there is no distraction - no TV, no watching videos online or any other kind of distraction or multitasking. Light in the room must be neither too harsh nor too dim so that it is soothing and the same time you can also see what you are eating. Every bite must be eaten with hand so that you can feel what you are eating, and then it must be chewed properly and slowly enjoying the taste, texture and aroma of the food. Having your food in this way makes it a sacred event and not only fills you with gratitude towards the food but also you end up eating less as you get to know exactly when your stomach is full. The process of chewing the food properly and slowly also makes the process of digestion easier.
3. Eat your last meal before sunset - After sunset the process of digestion becomes slower and also there is less activity during the late hours, therefore its advisable to have the last meal before sunset. In today's world this might not be always possible, but at least one can try and have their last meal 3-4 hours before going to bed. This way you allow your food to get burned up properly and avoid getting it deposited as fat on your body.
4. Drink 6 glass of water right after waking up in the morning - Drink one and half liters of water right after getting up from your bed. In Ayurveda this is called Ushapaan and is very beneficial for the body and cures many ailments like constipation, acne, obesity, headaches, kidney stone, acidity, gas problems. It is even more beneficial if water is stored in the copper vessel overnight.
5. Drink lots of water - I don't think that I need to list down the benefits of drinking lots of water as most of you might already know this. Those who want to go through the benefits again or those who are not aware of it please refer to http://www.mangosteen-natural-remedies.com/benefits-of-drinking-water.html.
6. Sleep on not so soft surface - Sleeping on yoga mat spread on the floor or any other kind of mat or thin mattress that is soft enough but not too soft and fluffy is perfect for healthy sleep. It helps in maintain right posture while sleeping as the body parts don't sink in and also allows proper breathing. In long run this contributes in a big way towards healthy body and also keep back pain at bay.
7.  Breath deeply and slowly - Something as simple as breathing also needs attention. It is simple but vital process. Shallow breathing means lack of oxygen in body which mean low metabolic rate and improper digestion and absorption of food. Just sit quietly at some quiet place and breath deeply and slowly for about 10 mins and observe how it feels. You can feel the difference. Make it a habit to breath deeply and slowly, whenever you realize that your breathing has become shallow or too fast try to bring it to deep and slow. This ensure proper amount of oxygen reaching your lungs every moment of the day.
8. Stretch - In today's world where most of us have sedentary and passive life style, stretching your body parts keeps your muscles flexible, increases blood circulation and also keeps your energy levels up. So try and stretch after every one or two hours and continue feeling energetic throughout the day.
9.  Maintain right posture - Maintaining right posture goes a long way in keeping one fit and young and in maintain good energy level through out the day. Try and sit in different postures and at last, sit in the right posture keeping your back straight and shoulders relaxed. See the difference you feeling. It has many benefits from health perspective like proper flow of air and blood circulation in the body and also good bone health. Last but not the least it make you feel and look more confident and smart and attentive. 
10. Turn into a vegetarian - Vegetarian food is far more light and easy on stomach. It keeps heart healthy and also prevents from cancer. For further information please refer http://www.celestialhealing.net/physicalveg.htm
11. Thank for all that you have and all good that will be coming to you- Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is very important. It is a very nice way to remind yourself of all the positive things in your life and in the process you end up feeling happier and more positive. Positive state of minds leads to attracting more positive things in your life which you would be happy and thankful about. At times we feel that there is nothing great in our life. Just remind yourself that mere fact that we have this life is a reason to be thankful about. Look around for small and simple things in your life to be thankful about. You can be thankful about beautiful sunrise and sunset that you get to see everyday. You can be thankful for enough food that you have to nourish your body. Look around, I am sure you will find minimum of five things to be thankful about. Practice thanking or gratitude every single day and make it your second nature to see something to be thankful about in simplest moments of your life. Once this habit has been cultivated start thanking for, not only what you have but also for what you want to have and achieve in your life, as if you are 100% sure that it is coming. Do this every single day with happiness and belief in your heart and see miracles happening.

Your Comments will be highly appreciated.

Detachment

Detachment ....... law of detachment... sounds familiar???? no?
For law of attraction to work , law of detachment has to be applied simultaneously.
Detachment has been identified as first step towards being happy and living more fulfilling life and also the first step towards spiritual growth by many religions of the east. But still many doubt that if someone is detached how can he still be able to love his family, friends and people around him. How can a detached person be a good citizen of the world?
One needs to understand that detachment is different from indifference. When you are detached you see things as they are, you see things from neutral point of view, you are not biased, you are not happy or sad, when detached you are just an observer. In day today situations or problems detachment helps you take right decisions without being blinded by bias and victim mentality.
When you are trying to attract something in your life, a better job, perfect life partner or any other thing, you need to be detached throughout the process, you should not get panicky or impatient, there should be deep faith that what you are asking for will be given. You just need to know precisely what do you want and be prepared to receive it because it is going to come for sure.